antara IPTI & UPM

Hye people. pd petang yg sgt dingin ni, coz ujan trun tak henti2, smbil tgh packing brng nk g kl esok, i rase terpanggil nk tulis post ni. hari ni adalah hr terakhir saya di umah after a long break. I am so happy but at the same time feels so cold leaving house. ye la, lpas ni tak tau bile lg balik. mase kat ipti dl almost tiap2 mggu blik umah, pantang de free akn blik umah (kalo tak foya2 kat kl laaa...hehe). tp lpas ni dh maken jauh, n takot homesick plak. weyh, i ni manje tauuuu..seriuosly. :D but i know i will have more fun in kl n a lot more to treasure which is so exciting n m so eager for that. hmmm~ during this busy break i have done few things that i considered very good to practice. i jage kdai my aunty, dl kdai my sis tp skang dh jd kdai aunty, jd cashier. tak ssh pn kije nye..dok kat cash register 2 n kire duit je la..hehe~ actually my aunty mmg sgt menantikan i start cuti. coz die mangalami kesukaran nk cr trusted cashier since she had a bad experience when her former cashier songlap duit. kebetulan i mmg dh diperturunkn ilmu utk menjadi 'tauke kedai' oleh akak i, jd keje aunty senang la sikit. i know how to deal with salesman, supplier n solve some cliche problems in business. i jage kdai 2 tak lama, for about a month je. lpas 2 i bersara coz my mom needs a driver! hehe..so i pencen n tukar profesion jd driver merangkap maid. it is still exciting coz mase ni la i spent some quality time ngn parents n my other siblings. lbey kurang 2 mggu i jd driver n maid, n now the hols is over. im moving off n moving away to kl tomorrow. awl kn? yeah..coz i have unfinish business plus i need to see my dearie hubby! 2 bulan tak jumpe, i really need a quick glance at him so that the passion would raise. tell u what, to be in upm is such a big dream among us, TESL students in IPTI. haha...bkn sbb we r too obsess nk study kat upm or so whatever, tp to us, study in ipti is very stressful. yes. seriously. maybe ipti tak suit dgn jiwa kitorg yg suka kn element fun dlm daily life. maybe ipti is too good for us, or maybe ipti's mission to produce great teacher have put us in tense. bkn kami tanak jd Great Teacher, but why must be so stressful? have some fun, n explore more, i believe such ways will produce better teacher. know what the real life outside, so that we can blend it in scholl! am i right? so nti tade la kite terpinga2, ngajar kat skola tak tau nape students kite tetibe je wat rmbut ala2 korean~ well..sociology people! owh my~ dh terlanjur rupa2nye saya..ya ampunnnn~ anyway i would love to say this, i really miss all my crazy friends that i used to have in ipti and hopefully they never change! see you guys in UPM n stay the same. kalo terserempak 2 tgur2 la! I'm still Tasha from the TESL Block!

The Chirping is so Beautiful

I have lost my birdys...

On last sunny friday morning, 19th of June 09, Me, yaya n mom found a nest kat celah2 pokok bunga kertas dpn umah. Mase 2 mak burung tade. kuar cr food la kot. and we took a look at them, they were so tiny. just born maybe. few days. I donno, coz i never pet any birds before. so what we did was, we hid the nest in the house, just for fun. saje je nk nyakat mak burung 2. tak lame lpas 2, mak die dtg ngn bwk cacing kat paruh, terbang sana sini cr anak die. hinggap kat sana, hinggap kat sini..cr2, tak jumpe...not so long, came another bird, memberi bantuan mencari ank burung yg ilang. kecoh la gak with the chirping of birds. we all sat somewhr and kept an eye on them. best tau tgk gelagat burung2 ni..how lovely they are. dlm setengah jam mcm 2, lpas tak jumpe ank die, mak burung and the gang melesapkan diri. tak dtg2 lg dh kat pokok 2. and we started to worry. Ishhh..mcm mane ni. anak die nk mkn ape mcm ni, mak die tak dtg2.. and i ve decided to went out and off to pet shop. i bought some tiny worms and fed them. my dad was around, he tried to feed them but tau je lah...laki kn tak sbr..n mmg payah nk bg diorg mkn. paruh kecik lg, n tak reti nk masukkn cacing 2 btol2 dlm mulut. my dad gave up since die pn dh nk g smayang jumaat. so i called my lil sis up, asked her to help me in order to feed them. so i amek penyepit, yg kecik, n slowly put the worms inside. few attempts i failed. but i kept on feeding and berjaya jugak akhirnye. mmg susah, tp i tak nak die mati. n dr gaye diorg mkn, i tau diorg sgt lapar! so sad... n started from that, i fed them three times a day. bgn pg je, i akn fed them frst, then br i breakfast. kalo dh bg diorg mkn 2, mmg sgt lega..ye la, kang tak bg mkn, mati plak.i really want to see them grow bigger n fly higher in the sky... though i tak tau, brape bnyk nk bg cacing n kerap mane nk bagi, i tak kesah. i bg je.tiap kali i mkn, diorg pn mkn! haha.. my parents pn tak amek port sgt, tp ntah la. i syg sgt kat burung 2 coz rase bersalah sembunyik kn sarang die... i tanye baby, me dear bf n he did give some tips. but this morning, on monday, i woke up quite late and rushed for something. i tak sempat nk feed them. but i jengok kejap kat sarang, diorg still chirping. n i said to them, 'jap eyh syg, blik nti bg mkn'. n i settle kn ape yg patot. i arrived at home about 1115 am, i cepat store my stuff n amek cacing nk bg mkn together wh my niece. she does love those birds too! i was so shocked, those birds that i named Caca Jr. (sbb die besar sikit, n suke buli yg lg sekor 2, mcm i slalu buli yaya) , and Yaya Jr. (die ni slalu kne buli n suke mengalah mcm yaya) , dh mati. they were not breathing, their chest were stiff and puas i goyangkn nest die, they were unmoved and i screamed, burung dh mati!!! my mom scolded me thought i just wanted to fool around but lpas i convinced them they were dead, the air was silent and breezy, but my heart broke into pieces. i am so sad and the death is so frustrating. my dream to see them grow bigger, at least to see them stay alive untill i off to UPM in this coming few days ruined. I buried them in front of my house. I sgt bersyukur coz Tuhan bg kesempatan nk jage ank burung 2, coz i never had any pet before. and now im thinking to pet new birds and will take care of it. and now, whenever the birds chirping I know it's a song for me to answer them.

Jealousy Kills.

And now i feel like telling and writing.

Everyone has their own dreams and goals. so do I. i have many dreams, not o mention the ridiculous one! and how to achieve, is another story. i have met so many people in my life and i know, i am going to meet more in future. as i walked in this path so called life, i do adore few people nameley J,L, n P. these girls are so charming, adorable, brilliant and very fortunate. As i can see they have everything in their life. wonderful life, bright future and stylish lifestyle. frankly i do envy and most of the times my irrational mind persuade me to keep on thinking about them and ways to compete with them though i know, at certain point i am still lucky . this is so common among girls right? but what made my degree of jealousy arose is, what i wanted in my life, they own them. i know i still have time to build my very own life with my own branding. hmmm... i really need advices, or maybe a motivation for me to decide the right junction so that i will not choose wrongly. Shall i declare that i am a Paranoid??

New Born Darling

This is my new born darling of my life. im so happy, n excited. Seriously. I love Civic, but daddy agreed for City, but so what? it's Honda and...I simply loving it! these are few pics taken while i stopped at my uncle's house to inform him that the car has arrived. well...satu taman dh pusing but tak puas lg!!

Dedicated to Dad~

FOR...

For ur endless love showered,
i thank U.
For the least anger throw,
i adore U.
For the non-stop hard work,
i wish the greatest return in future.
For the laugh burst,
i like that beautiful rythm.
For the smile made in sweat,
i realized it is the most lovely smile of all.

For being the best father to us,
We r so grateful to have U,
Nothing Compared to U.

And for the City that made my sis envy,
I have no other reason to not say this,
I LOVE U DAD!

Thanks. Thanks. And Thanks.

Baby Baby~

To My Lover, my Forever Lover :

You are my everything.
Something that makes my smile blooming.
My love to you cannot be hiding.
Only we know what are happening.
When I want u to take me away, I'm not kidding.
Coz to be with you is what I waiting for.

Eye seeing is lying.
Please do something,
Since life is cheating.

The Fantastic Four

I just received a phone call from Umi, my dearest BFF. hmmm~ actually i wanted to write on something that is will be posted later. but now, i want to share wh u all, how precious my BFFs to me. BFFs? yes. they r more than one, and now i will introduce to u who they r. Umi, Shak, Nonie, and Aid are the closest friends in my life. we shared our ups n downs in our high school, and living together as a big family.

Like Umi, i met her at MJSC Terendak Camp, the very first day i registered there. Yes. on my first day. And tell u what, since then we became very good friends until now. and...it has been almost 9 years i know her! She's lovely wh huge heart and incredibly patience. what can i say is, she is the only creature who could stand my extreme anger in my young days. hah! thats true! she is the last person standing, but the first person i would go for in anything. i love u Umi!

and Shakirah, i only met her in MJSC Jasin. this humourous girl, i might say, has add value that i appreciated. We began as friends of friends, but the strong chemistry between us had bring us together. She's strong mentally, and the best listener of mine. even though i only met her few past years back, but our friendship value seems we knew each other since in kindergarten! Wonderful right?

and the next girl that is very significant in my life is Nonie. this smart girl has an unbearable attitude, but i do not know how do i could bear wh her. LOL! kidding. just like Umi, I knew Nonie in MJSC Terendak Camp and so happened we were placed in the same block. Block H, the most happening block! remember? hehe.. and i think the only thing that is common between us was, we are the trouble maker, and hav few black tragedies in terendak. She's an amazing friends and a ready to go friend.

Last but not least is Aid. this tiny girl has huge warm heart. i met her in Jasin, and for some reasons we were getting closer (not to mention what the reasons are!) and still be good friends up till now.she is kinda busy wh her life lately but we managed to keep in touch. She's fabulous and great, just like my other BFFs. there are some other close friends that used to be around us while in college, but these Fantastic Four are the great! i really hope this friendship will last forever. even though they r going to be very busy to make big money, U girls will remain as my BFFs now n then. I hope u all will have greatest achievement in ur life, and after life. and yes, big thanks and infinite apology to u all for all the wroingdoings i have done. I do love u all, and please dont go. Hey, We have few lines of magic spell and agreed to name us TPDs. Go TPDs! yuuhuuuuuuu~~!

ROTU - YES or NO

Hmmm...before i go any further, for those who do not know what i am, let me tell u one fact, and u may digest this factual sentence as what u wish. I'm one of ROTU cadet, and will be in intermediate level this coming july. Yes. and i have been in the system for about a year, though i had not join the training quite for some times, i am still the qualified ROTU cadet. pheww~ the training, is not bad so far. i still can undergo every exercises (even sometimes 'secure'. haha!) and what i can say is, i had a lot of fun in sweat! but what i'm going to share with u all is not about sweat or exercises, but a huge confusion and daze about making decision to pursue my training or QUIT. frankly, to quit is all i wanted. i dont deny that my earlier phase of my life as a cadet in UPM is traumatic. All the rules, tradition and senioruty made me sick! even now. yes. up to now. but my dearest boyfriend always reminded me to take what it is to be a cadet since i have made a decision to be in the system. so what can i do is, to go with the flow, and have fun (owh plz, i hate sun shine!!!). thanks by. u r the best lover i've ever had! ok. i had list few reasons why i wanted to quit.

1. my skin is getting darker and it takes months to recover.
2. i hate kawad coz i hate sun shine coz my skin could get burn easily!
3. i'm worried if i get more scars and marks in future since to get rid of them, which is close to IMPOSSIBLE!
4. i think i'm losing my feminity.... aint i?
5. owh yeah, i need to put my tudung on! owh my...
6. Above all...my parents never agree for me to join ROTU. Arent parents bless vital people?? ;)

However, truly deeply madly, it will be heart breaking if i leave ROTU. coz i have started to love all my friends there though distance keep us apart. especially the amazing twins, XAXA n XATI, u girls are super duper cool with huge heart, i am certainly gonna miss u all...and my M16! damnn...i wonder how it is. i know it is in the safe hands! hmmm...half of my heart really want to continue the training and keep on running. but there is a big but to consider. so darlings, give me more reasons to stay!!! what say u??